


And I only sink deeper the deeper I think..

by RivTheWriter



Series: Captain Vuler And His Vicar [4]
Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Depressing Thoughts, Guilt, Hes really just a dumbass who means well, His name is Zeno Vuler, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Max tries to help, Minor Character Death, My First Work in This Fandom, My Outer Worlds Captain, Panic Attacks, Post-The Empty Man, Pre-Relationship, Sad, Spoilers, dark themes, he tries his best, post-enlightenment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:41:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26170594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RivTheWriter/pseuds/RivTheWriter
Summary: "He never saw the warning. or the third option...so he hit..100%.and as he stepped away he realized the gravity of his choice."
Relationships: Male Captain/Maximillian DeSoto, The Captain/Maximillian DeSoto, Zeno Vuler/Maximillian DeSoto
Series: Captain Vuler And His Vicar [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1900453
Kudos: 4





	And I only sink deeper the deeper I think..

**Author's Note:**

> Title: A line from Ship In A Bottle by Fin Argus.
> 
> Lyrics from Ship In A Bottle that fits this fic: There are red spots under your eyes  
> From when you cry  
> Into the sky
> 
> Comments are vastly appreciated!! 💖 Thank you for reading!

Zeno tapped at the keys, hands shaking as his disquise flickered on and off.

Teeth gritted and panic filling him to his core. he saw the two options. Take 100% or. 26.something%, his vision was blurring from the lack of his glasses, and the poor lenzes in the helmet he was wearing.. 

He never saw the warning. or the third option...

so he hit..

100%.

and as he stepped away he realized the gravity of his choice.

The people in the tubes around him awoke, And started struggling, struggling to breathe. despretly trying to survive..

He stared in shock, eyes blown wide and knees trembling. 

The captain struggled to walk and grab the container when all signs of life had stopped... and only when they were in the elevator did he take off his helmet..

A harsh sob escaped his lips as his legs gave out beneath him, rushing to catch the captain was Vicar Max.. 

"I killed them- i- I cant believe- im a monster- i should have checked to see what it would do- i should have-" his breath was wheezing, hard to get in or out, his whole form trembling like a leaf. 

"Captain." Max said softly "Zeno. You had no idea. You couldnt have known.. its okay... youre okay.." he muttered, holding the purple haired male close. ".. Had this happened when i was still questioning my faith.. I certainly would have said some more.. harsh things to you. as i did when.. you stopped me from killing the man who directed me to the book.. but I am a changed man.. for the most part i do not feel the way i did. I will stand by your side as always... wherever we go from here." 

Zeno hid his face in the vicar's shoulder. heartwrenching wails filling the elevator.. Parvati visibly winced and looked away, trying not to tear up at the distressed state the captain was in.. 

The elevator arrived at the main level, Max helped Zeno stand "Captain.. We must head to the ship.. Can you walk?" 

Zeno shook his head "I- I dont think so.."

"Thats alright. Parvati, cover for us? I will walk the captain out of here and then you can meet us at the next elevator?" Max said, Standing to full attention and gently taking zeno's arm over his shoulders and helping him proper. 

Parvati nodded "Got it. Mr Vicar." she stepped out of the elevator first. Gaining the attention of everyone on the first floor. 

Max helped Zeno walk to the exit, Whispering soft consoling words. "Youre okay. We're going to get you back to the ship. Captain. Im with you. Im right here." he tightened his grip on his captain slightly. 

Zeno didnt reply, having started to space out, he was still trembling. Imagining what it would be like, to have what you need to survive. taken from you so quickly.. 

Would it be painful? Quick and easy? 

His mind drifted to Phineas.

He had been in stasis just like those people back there. Had phineas woken him up on accident. would he have drowned in the liquid he was suspended in? would he have struggled? Screamed until his lungs filled with water? sobbed as he realized he was dying?

Zeno didnt even realize they had made it to The Unreliable.

Didnt notice when Max sat him in his desk chair and worked to get his boots off..

Couldnt hear anything but a vague ringing.

not even when max was talking to him..

The only thing that snapped him out of his daze was Max gently removing his heavy jacket, and the cool recycled air of the ship bit at his skin. he shivered and leaned tword the warmth of the vicar, who started to help him stand once more.

"max.." he mumbled

"its alright captain. im still here. Im just going to move you to your bed, alright? and then.. ill make you some hot chocolate. does that sound good?" The vicar asked. gently moving the captain to the large double bed they had gotten to replace the small cot that was once sitting against the wall. 

Zeno nodded weakly "That.. sounds nice..." he held his breath. tears welled in his eyes again " im sorry. max."

Max shook his head and smiled fondly before pressing a gentle friendly kiss to his captains forehead "you never need to apologize. not for anything. zeno. not to me, not to the crew, not to anyone. you are only human."

Zeno relaxed into the bed. looking at the vicar. "how did i get so lucky to meet you. max."

Max gave a soft laugh " I ask myself the same every day. Zeno. I truely do."

Perhaps it was the tiredness from all the crying..

perhaps it was the longing to abandon today and all that had happened..

But zeno found himself dozing off almost as soon as the vicar left his room.. 

it was a dreamless sleep... and it seemed he wouldnt be drinking his hot coco any time soon.


End file.
